I've been thinking about this for a while: creating a smoothie-like drink using only water and pretzels. I very much enjoy eating pretzels, and I also enjoy drinking water while I eat pretzels. This act makes me feel sort of healthy and also someone told me that it's good to eat snacks. The only problem is that I have sensitive teeth. My molars have been frightened of crunchy foods for the last 5 years of my life, or roughly equivalent to the number of years it's been since I actually ate a piece of candy with any gusto. To put it simply, I like the texture of my food to be a pushover, within reason of course. For example, I find grits to be great. Corn chips are definitely delicious, but they hurt my brain when I eat them. I am finding myself more and more interested in blending crunchy foods until they are in some sort of powder-like form. Then, one of two things might happen: I could either a) pour this delicious powder into my mouth and then pour some water in as well, and let the magic happen, or b) I could just add the water into the blending process and really create something weird.
I often feel as if I'm not eating efficiently enough, and while some people probably enjoy the action of grinding hard objects between their teeth like some horrible mortar and pestle, I'm mostly just trying to get this food into my stomach with the least painful method possible. Call me crazy, but I think it'll catch on. Plus there are tons of interesting variables that can be introduced. For one thing, you could use milk instead of water in the mixture, and then add some of that powdered cheese stuff that they include in the Kraft Mac and Cheese boxes. Voila! Pretzel and cheese shake! Or take it even further, and blend corn chips, salsa, the aforementioned cheese powder, and sour cream. Now you have all the flavors of an authentic Mexican style dinner with none of the mess or dishes. Who cares if the mixture is some nasty looking pink color with little chunks floating in it? What's important is that you made things much easier on your digestive system, so that next time, when it really needs to work on some tough piece of steak, or an incredibly raw banana, it'll have all that unused shake energy to exert. This logic is flawless.
1 comment:
You should leave undissolved chunks of pretzel salt in immediately before consuming, of course. Besides the rock salt, a pretzel is essentially two-dimensional anyway, determined by that brown glaze from dipping what would have otherwise been an olive garden breadstick in baking soda. Your shake risks losing the pretzel essence. The pretzel is the medium. You have never heard of "pretzel-flavored-" or "tofu-flavored-" misc. for a reason, culinary fool. Peppy fart.
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