that it makes me want to throw up with joy
i have seen a lot of amazing things in my life
and i don't know if i have made anything that is amazing
this notion might induce nausea
in myself
i'm not sure
i am afraid of not doing enough with my life
and also afraid of my hands becoming old and gnarled
these are legitimate fears
i know this, because there aren't many things that i fear
i just don't want my hands to become useless
i need my hands
and
i need to do something, always
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